In the past several letters to you, I’ve focused on areas within your own personal space, or just you, in order to help you understand and adopt the success process. There is much more yet to go into, but I thought I would take a moment here to address a question or two you might be having…
Now, quite frankly, some people say to me, “But really, Dymphna, what does all that stuff have to do with buying a PPR?” Or, “Why should it matter how I think as long as I get a good deal?”
Well, quite honestly, it has a lot to do with those things. When you think about it, real estate deals are not made with buildings, are they? They’re made by and between people. More to the point, any deal you make will involve you and at least one other person. You need to prepare yourself for success in that very challenging arena.
That’s why learning how to discipline yourself to think differently, to plan for success, to understand what a successful process looks and feels like on a daily basis in your life is so important. It’s crucial that those things become a part of you. And, as I’ve said before, the processes that I teach you, my students, apply to real estate investing, your personal life and virtually any other activity or discipline you undertake.
Of course, success stories are fun to talk about, too, and should inspire you to continue down the path to success that you’re following. But what most people don’t realize is that success stories don’t “just happen.” Success has come as a result of those people doing very specific things to successfully reach their goals that we love to hear about.
That’s why I’m spending a good amount of time in these areas. Success in real estate investing is not as much about finding the right building or reno opportunity—sure that is a part of it–but success is also due to the hard work that comes before any deal is ever made. If this part of the success process was not important, then you would already be a complete and total success in your life, in real estate investing, or in whatever other endeavor you might involve yourself.
It’s true; to get from where you are now, to where you want to be, you have to change the current pattern of your life, don’t you? Just like a reno project on a property, you’re going to need to upgrade yourself. Your first reno project will be you!
Now, I want you to burn this next sentence into your brain:
Changing your behavior and thought patterns is especially applicable to those of you who are trying to break out of your old life and trying to begin a new life that you want.
You have to break your old ways of thinking, living and behaving that have led you to mediocrity and dissatisfaction in your life. That will allow you to be able to adopt new ways that will lead to success. Your “self-renovation” will include both the interior parts of yourself and your life as well as the exterior parts of your life.
One of the areas that you will need to work on is recognizing the influence that people in your life have on you and to see those influences for what they are. Say, for instance, that you are criticized by your boss at work, or even by just a colleague, for no good reason. That happens from time to time, doesn’t it?
How do you react? Before taking on this process for success, you may have reacted in kind—or taken it far too personally and allowed it to affect you in your own self-confidence and sense of self worth. But now, you know better. With your confidence and emotional maturity, you see that it has nothing to do with you, but rather, it has everything to do with that person. They’re on their own journey—emotionally and professionally and spiritually.
By not reacting, but rather, being proactive by putting the correct mental context around the event or outburst, you develop your skill in seeing the real cause of the outburst—whether it’s the other person’s insecurity, their own past, their own lack of talent or hope in their life or in their career. This is huge shift in perspective that must occur to allow you to bloom!
This gives you power; it makes you a leader in the situation. You realize that it’s less and less about you. Part of your growth and maturity is in your understanding that it’s about the other person, not you. More importantly, though, that’s when you become the leader of yourself. Your inner self, your thoughts and your sense of self worth are renovated, improved and strengthened.
You will start to notice the positivity—and in many cases, the negativity—of the people around you. Notice the people around you and their attitudes and opinions on what you’re doing. Notice what they say, how they express their attitudes and expectations of how things are going or will go. Then, identify whether those attitudes and opinions are helping and which are hindering your self-renovation and your journey to success.
Once you realize who and where the positive and negative influences are, you begin to consciously change the environment around you. That is, you renovate your external life. You make conscious decisions as to who you associate with, where you spend your time and how you focus your energies. These are the external life skills that come about from your internal renovation. It’s important to get these skills in place because it affects everything that you do in your life and in your business activities.
Will there be resistance or derision from some people in your life about the changes you are making? Probably. But who cares? What someone else thinks of you is none of your business. Your job is to mind your own business.
And what, you might ask, is that? Your business is what you think of yourself. You can’t change another person; you can only change yourself. You are where it begins, you are where all the improvement goes, and you are where the path to success begins and ends.