So I was having a dream the other night.
I was in a hotel somewhere (you know I travel a lot, so this is a common dream theatre for me) at the breakfast buffet.
It was a crowded rush hour and there was a bit of a cue. Anyway, there was a woman a few people ahead of me in the cue and she starts piling up her plate with bacon.
And I mean piling it up. Like it looks like one of those cartoon heaps of bacon – a steaming tower of piggy.
Anyway, I’m outraged. There’s like 50 people behind me and she’s pretty much cleared out the Bay Marie.
And it wasn’t that I particularly wanted bacon myself. It was just an outrage of human decency. Just the gross selfishness of it all.
I started giving her a serve but woke up before I could build a full head of steam.
And without the satisfaction of a full verbal release, I carried that emotion into my waking day – I woke up angry, outraged, feisty, agitated.
And I even found myself angry at her for ruining the start to what otherwise would have been a beautiful morning…
And then I had a moment of reflection… and felt totally ridiculous.
Why was I so worked up about what a character in my own dream was doing?
I mean, she was a manifestation of my own mind. I created her. My mind made her up. But then I go and get myself worked into a tizz at what my own mind was making her do..? So much so that it leaves a sour taste in my mouth and ruins my cornflakes?
I had to laugh.
I felt inspired to share this story, because more and more, my life is taking on the quality of a waking dream.
More and more my life takes on the qualities of my will – my vision and my actions.
I ‘put it out there’ and the universe delivers – in creative and kooky ways that leave me humbled in awe or laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.
I get the clear sense that there’s an interface between my mind and my reality.
I don’t understand it and I will never understand it. And that’s ok. There are some things that want to remain and mystery and we should let them be.
But I believe that this is a human capacity we all have. What did the Buddha say? “With our thoughts we create the world.” It’s something like that.
And I feel like we all have a sense of this, even if it hasn’t become the dominant flavour of our experience yet.
And yet, we still treat it as if it were all outside in.
We still think that all the characters and the situations and the things we want are all ‘out there’. Out there in the world, and not at least partly emerging out of our thoughts and beliefs.
And in that way, getting angry at the world – at people or at situations – really makes as much sense as getting angry at the characters in your dreams.
What are you angry at them for? You created them.
I know it’s hard to take charge of our emotions. They are so immediate. They come before rational thought. I mean, look at me. I was getting angry at a woman who literally didn’t exist.
But I think it gets easier if we start to treat the world for what it is – a waking dream that reflects our own thoughts and our own beliefs.
And that means taking responsibility for everything, in the way we understand taking responsibility for everything that happens to us in our dreams.
It also gets easier when we gain greater control over our thoughts and our experiences. We get a handle for the interface.
That’s something you could spend a lifetime learning. Maybe that is what you’re supposed to spend your lifetime learning.
But for now, just keep reading this blog. I’ll see what I can do.