October 8, 2019 by Dymphna

Truth Bomb Tuesday: What a sook says about you

A sook is a life strategy, but it says an awful lot about a person.

What is a sook?

It’s a little bit like a tantrum, but without any of the fire and energy. It’s just a bit of a disempowered whinge.

You see it in kids, mostly. They’ll have a bit of a sook if things don’t go their way. But you also see it in adults, and at the risk of alienating half of my readership, a bit more in men than women.

(Hey, just calling it like I see it.)

And a sook is actually a bit of a life strategy. It serves a purpose.

Think of it as a bargain chip. “I’m going to go into sooky, whiny place right now, and unless you give me what I want, I’m going to stay there.”

And the way I see it, the sook is the last resort of the disempowered.

It makes sense for children. The little girl wants an ice-cream, and her mother says no. That’s really the end of the story. The child doesn’t have the power to get an ice-cream for herself, so a sook is her last remaining strategy.

“It’s just NOT fair, mum!”

But what about the adult that sooks?

Same story. A sook is their last remaining strategy because they feel completely powerless in the situation.

I mean, if there were actually things they could do to get what they want – if they still had power in the situation – wouldn’t they just do those things?

A sook is a signal to others that you feel totally disempowered. That it’s all out of your hands now and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Women, historically, have been a bit more bossed around by men, so we just get on with. Boys, in general, have been more coddled in their sookiness, so they see it as a more viable strategy.

(As a mum of two boys and a girl, I had to watch my own conditioning come through here.)

I want to take this further. I would also say that a feeling of powerlessness, in turn, reflects a lack of imagination.

There is always something you can do about anything.

Maybe your boss is giving you all the crap jobs and it’s not fair. If you have a sook about it you’re giving up. But there’s always something you can do. Get another job. Teach yourself property investing. There are literally thousands of options.

Even at a more fundamental level, we still have the ability to choose our experiences. We can choose to suffer in how unfair everything is, or we can focus on our blessings.

And so if you come to me with a bit of a sook, you’re not going to get any sympathy.

I’m going to tell you to get creative. Go out and find the strategy that gives you the power you’ve lost.

And then take control of that power.

The person in their power never resorts to a sook.

Leave it to the kids