October 2, 2018 by Dymphna

Truth Bomb Tuesday: When your dreams become burdens

I want you to go hard, but I also want you to take it easy.

Be gentle with yourself.

I know I’ve made Truth Bomb Tuesday a bit of a “Ra Ra, up and at ‘em!” kind of affair.

That not an accident. The thing I see holding most people back is ‘belief’. They just don’t believe it can be done – that their life can be different and that they can achieve amazing things as well.

And so I want to bust that idea like a bubble. I want to prick it with an injection of energy and enthusiasm. As someone who has turned their life around, I want to say that it is possible. Anything is possible. “Ra ra, go and get ‘em tiger.”

But today I want to go in totally the opposite direction. I want to say, be gentle with yourself.

Life is a rich field filled with endless possibilities. But it is also hard.

And I’m not just saying that doing million dollar deals and replacing your income is hard. Everything is hard.

Some days, getting out of bed is hard.

And most days we do it. We push on through. We get up out of bed. We get the kids lunches sorted and we get ourselves to work. We are functional and effective.

We should celebrate this for the serious victory that it actually is.

But the world doesn’t celebrate these victories. It only celebrates buying a flash new car, losing twenty kilo’s, cooking instagram-worthy meals for your family, doing a yoga-retreat and learning a crazy new back-bend.

Perfect skin, perfect abs, chisled guns, a banging wardrobe, beautiful kids who are blossoming in the fullness of your patient and loving attention. You just have so much time for that.

And then there’s the hobbies you excel at. The wood work, the sewing, the middle eastern cooking classes. Share the results with your friends. Look how many likes you get.

And then there’s your relationships. You are the friend that everyone can count on, the ear for every worry, the shoulder for every tear. Your parents are proud, and feel they can rely on you as they start to age… and when one of them dies.

There is just so much to get just so perfect.

I have seen these dreams become a burden. I have seen them take on a heaviness. I have seen people pulled beneath the waves trying to keep it all afloat.

Sometimes the body goes – the chronic bad back, the migraines, the neck pain, cancer.

Sometimes the mind goes – sleeping tablets, anti-depressants, anxiety and panic attacks in the super-market.

It wasn’t meant to be this way.

And it truly wasn’t. We are biologically built for foraging for fruit in the forest, not for managing social media profiles.

Of course it’s fricking hard.

And that’s ok. It’s just ok. I want to say that it is just ok. Everything is ok.

And sometimes, if the only thing you manage in a day is to wash and eat and smell some of the spring flowers, that is just ok.

And don’t get me wrong. I am still a believer in dreams. And I know the joy that comes with chasing your dreams.

But be gentle with yourself. Don’t make it heavy. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not top of your yoga class, or your kids are eating fish-fingers in front of the telly tonight and no one on Instagram likes it.

Just don’t take yourself too seriously. Follow your dreams lightly. Treat everything beyond smelling a flower today as a bonus.

Because it really is.

Be gentle with yourself. Put the needs of who you really are way, way above the needs of who you want to be.

And just do what you can do.

Slowly, slowly. Gently, gently.