April 4, 2022 by Dymphna

T-Bomb: why happy = who cares?

Truth Bomb Tuesday: There’s no useful information in happy.

I’m going to tell you why you don’t actually want to be happy.

I’m serious. You don’t. You don’t necessarily want to be unhappy either. You just don’t care.

As far as you’re concerned, happiness is largely irrelevant.

Now you might be thinking, “Hang on Dymphna. You don’t know me. We’ve only shared that one night out together on the Gold Coast, and even then the details are pretty hazy.”

And I guess this is where the English language falls down a little bit. I’m talking about the ‘you’ that is a human animal, not necessarily the ‘you’ that sits behind the steering wheel of your mind.

But I feel like I can pretty safely say that the human animal of you just doesn’t care about being happy.

And that’s because happiness isn’t a biological drive.

Being happy doesn’t necessarily help you survive. It doesn’t necessarily help you have more reproductive sex.

(I mean, look at all those models. They’re so surly, but they must be having tonnes of wonderful sex.)

Happiness doesn’t really have any bearing on your ability to pass on your genetic material.

And in that sense, happiness is irrelevant. You just don’t care if you’re happy or not.

Now, this might sound like Dymphna’s school of the obvious again, but think about this for a sec. I think it’s kind of profound.

Happiness isn’t a natural concern. That means it’s not something you’re going to naturally start thinking and strategizing about.

That’s in contrast to some other natural concerns like shelter and food

If you’re naked and cold in the forest, you’ll quickly start strategizing about ways to improve your situation. You will make it a priority.

But if you’re safe, warm and well-fed, but unhappy? That’s ok. No problem there. All I need now is a boyish model to share in my sullenness.

Happiness will never be a priority unless we consciously make it a priority.

This is a really important point. Happiness will never be a priority unless we consciously make it a priority.

We often think that happiness will just naturally come about. That if we just keep our heads down and work hard, then sooner or later the ducks of life will line up, and we’ll be happy.

But unless you’re consciously choosing to be happy, and consciously strategizing around being happy, then there will be no drive and direction towards happiness in your life.

You still might end up being happy here and there along the way. But those moments of happiness will likely be an accident.

And are you willing to leave your happiness to chance?

Especially if I tell you that it is totally within your control?

The empowered life is one where you build in a conscious drive and direction towards happiness.

Happiness, like most thing in life, is a choice.