Truth Bomb Tuesday: I couldn’t believe that life was actually like this…
Freedom is painful.
I know we talk about freedom as if it’s the greatest thing God ever invented. Apart from love is the only thing worth dying for.
Just ask Mel Gibson.
But it’s actually painful.
It’s kind of a pain in the arse actually.
I learnt this the hard way. When my business partner ran off with our clients’ money it was a massive slap in the face. It was a brutal loss of innocence.
A single mum, a business on the brink of bankruptcy, how had it all gone so wrong?
Up until that point I think I had just figured that life would look after me.
I would finish my studies and life would offer me a good job. I would do some dating for a while and then life would send a good husband on a horse my way and he would take care of me. I would work, money would come and life would make me rich.
Now none of these ideas were consciously held obviously. If you had asked me, that’s not what I would’ve told you life is like.
But what we say and what we actually believe deep down can be worlds apart.
And so this was a painful awakening. I realised that life wasn’t going to take care of me. It wasn’t going to all work out unless I made it work out.
Suddenly I realised how much responsibility I actually had for my life.
I wasn’t on a set of tracks cruising towards happy town. I had to choose to make it happen. I had to make choices.
But having choices is just another word for freedom. If you have no choices you have no freedom.
And so I became painfully aware of my freedom. I became painfully aware of my responsibility.
What a pain in the arse!
And I resisted it for a long time. I wanted to go back to my innocence – back to that cozy place where the world was looking after me.
And after I spent a time feeling sorry for myself, telling everyone how unfair it was … After I spent a good while moping, I took responsibility.
And once I took responsibility, once I accepted my freedom, that’s when things began to change.
That’s when my life became truly my own.
So this is the question for you. Are you resisting your responsibility? Are you resisting your freedom?
Are you still hoping that the world will come and look after you and that everything will be easy?
Because I can only help you once you have swallowed that bitter pill.
A bitter pill called freedom.
DB.