February 2, 2021 by Dymphna

T-Bomb: how to shine like a crazy diamond

Truth Bomb Tuesday: You might think you need to ‘shine’ more… It might be a dangerous idea.

“I need to shine more.”

Maybe you do, Susan. But maybe you don’t.

It’s one of the funny things about my line of work. Your mindset defines what you are capable of. So while I’m teaching all the systems I have to build wealth, none of that is going to do you any good, if you don’t have your head screwed on right.

If you believe that you have no valuable skills and that you ‘deserve’ to be poor, then no one can help you. Not even me.

And so sooner or later we have to have a conversation about beliefs systems and so on.

And what I’m noticing is that conversation is much more alive in people than it was when I first started this journey, all those years ago.

Back then, positive thinking and affirmations and all that was seen as a bit woo-woo.

It’s much less so now. In fact, by the time people find me, they’ve probably done a good deal of thinking about this already.

But there’s a trap here if you don’t have a mentor or at least a sounding board to work this stuff through with. You can actually use the tools of mindset to reinforce bad habits!

Let me give you an example.

So recently a student said she felt she needed to ‘shine’ more.

At some level that’s true. I’d probably agree with that. We all need to let ourselves shine.

But what do we actually mean by that?

Because I would agree with an idea like, “We need to stop hiding our true selves away, and just let the world see us for who we are, warts and all.”

If that’s what ‘shine’ means to you then great. I’m all about it.

However, for some people it means something like, “I need to somehow transform myself into something more sparkly – something that makes people go ‘oooh’ and ‘ahhh’.”

If that’s what ‘shine’ means to you then No. I’m deadest against it.

If you feel like you have to be someone different to who you truly are before you can ‘shine’, then you’re lost. You’re caught in the struggle to escape from yourself, which is such a cruel struggle because it just isn’t possible.

You just burn through all this energy trying to do something that’s not even possible, and actually keeps the real you hidden.

The more we try to shine in this sense, the less we actually shine in a real sense.

But, this is too much nuance for an Instagram post.

And so this is the danger. Unless you have someone you can unpack ideas like this with, you can end up running in completely the wrong direction, and not even realise it.

And the real challenge here is that the ‘you’ that is coming up with strategies to grow and develop, is the exact same ‘you’ that is all messed up with whatever you’re messed up with.

(We’re all messed up with something.)

For example, ask a drug addict what they need to be their best selves, and they’ll probably tell you ‘more drugs’.

It’s why healing yourself is hard.

And it’s why I recommend getting a mentor, or at least a training buddy who can test your ideas and give you feedback.

We have to fight to keep ourselves honest.

And the journey is just much more fun when you’re travelling with someone anyway.