October 3, 2022 by Dymphna

T-Bomb: How to be desire-driven

Truth Bomb Tuesday: There’s two ways of moving. But they’re really just two sides of the same coin.

There’s something hiding behind every fear you have.

It’s the desire for something beautiful.

Fears don’t exist in a vacuum. We’re not afraid of things for their own sake.

It’s about what we stand to lose if our fears come true.

We are afraid of rejection because the feeling of alienation is painful. It hurts. And the beautiful desire that we can see hiding there is a need to fit in and belong.

And we’re afraid of not having enough money because we know or can imagine what it’s like to have enough to be generous, with ourselves and others.

That’s a perfectly beautiful desire right there.

Or we’re afraid of breaking up with our partner because we carry a beautiful vision of two people living a beautiful life in the warmth of each other’s company.

It’s a beautiful vision, and it is totally ok to desire something beautiful. It’s totally ok. Don’t let them tell you that you should be ashamed of what you desire.

And know that behind every fear is a desire that is totally valid.

Now this is an important point, because we really don’t want to be acting out of fear.

Is something like “energy flows where attention goes”. Something like that. When we’re acting out of fear and following fear impulses, we often end up calling in the very things we are trying to avoid.

But those fears are perfectly rational. We don’t want to have no money and starve. That’s a rational fear to have.

So we don’t want to just pretend that we don’t have them, or suppress them so we don’t feel them.

It’s ok that they’re there.

But what we do want to do is step into the beautiful desire hiding behind it.

Afraid of being poor? Move from a desire to experience abundance and generosity.

Afraid of being single? Move from a desire for deep human connection.

Afraid of getting hurt? Move from a place of wanting to lovingly protect yourself.

It might not make all that much difference in terms of the strategies you deploy.

But we can recast out motivations until they are magnets of love and happiness.

We can let ourselves walk towards our beautiful desires, rather than in a running away from the things we fear.

But the point I really want to stress is that changing gears like this – being desire-driven rather than fear driven doesn’t involve turning your back on your fears.

Rather, it’s a process of inquiry: what desire for something beautiful is hiding behind this fear.

Because there always is one.

And life is just so much easier when we are driven by desire.