September 26, 2017 by Dymphna

Truth Bomb Tuesday: Why you need someone who ‘gets it’


The road of the visionary soul can be a lonely one…

You need at least one person in your life who ‘gets it’.

There was a scene in the movie “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” – or one of those crazy Kung Fu movies, I don’t remember which one exactly.

(It wasn’t the one about the pandas.)

Anyway, the basic idea that there was an assassin on a lifelong mission to kill this particular lord, and he finally makes it into his court.

He’s all set to kill him, but after a bit of chit-chat, the assassin begins to realise what the lord’s agenda actually is – conquer everyone to put an end to feudal fighting, and usher in an era of peace.

The assassin ‘gets it’, and gets the beauty of his vision. He gives up on trying to kill him.

But the really beautiful part was the lord’s speech, where he says, “I may not realise this vision, but to know that it has been understood by a man such as yourself, brings me great peace. I will die happy knowing only this much.”

I actually teared up at this point. Never mind all that soppy rubbish about lovers falling on swords and all that. This is what touched me.

It was a poetic moment – where the ‘vision’ of what the lord was trying to create was more important than the realisation of that vision – a vision that came from a deep drive within his soul; an inspiration.

And that, like most visionaries, he was alone in his vision. He saw the world and things in the world that others could not, and that cut him off from the people around him.

I think most visionaries have to manage loneliness somehow.

And then, for him to have the depth of his vision, (and therefore his very soul!) understood by another, was a homecoming of sorts. There was a realisation that he was not crazy. His vision had a tangibility for the first time in his life, and his soul had a companion.

Sigh. Seriously, I was blubbering all over my tim-tams.

The lord ends up killing the assassin anyway because this was feudal China and they were hard-core like that. (More tears).

But for me, it touched a nerve. If you want to create an outside-the-box life, you need someone who gets it.

You need someone who doesn’t think you’re just out there building pretty castles in the sky – you need someone who gets it. Someone who can see the vision of what you’re making, and all the awesome things that are going to flow out of it.

Even if you’re not planning anything as ambitious as unifying the Middle Kingdom, even if your goal is as modest as just retiring on a comfortable passive income, as soon as you take the responsibility of your own life into your hands, you are working in the realm of the visionary.

And the visionary’s road can be lonely.

Now, it is awesome if your ‘companion of vision’ is also your lover and life partner. That’s fantastic. Amazing. There’s such a juice that comes with working on your life together and wheeling and dealing.

There’s no aphrodisiac like a two into eight townhouse development bought off-market.

(Or maybe that’s just me.)

But it also doesn’t have to be.

There are many roles going in Team You. You need your advisers and your co-collaborators. But you also need solid people in your life who are happy to tinker away in the shed while you’re online looking at property.

Whichever way it falls, don’t force it. If your life partner doesn’t fully get your vision, that’s ok. You know, as long as they’re still supportive.

Just because your hubby doesn’t understand your dream to build an empire by fire and force, doesn’t mean you need to start hitting the online dating sites looking for someone who does.

And the reality is, sometimes this kind of creative relationship flows a little smoother without all that sexual charge.

(ooohhh. Did you say rezoning potential?)

But whatever their stripes, there is so much value in having someone who ‘gets it’.

There will be times that you will think you are going crazy. I can guarantee it. Times when you look at what you’re doing, when you look at what you’re trying to build and think, ‘What on earth am I doing?!?”

(Don’t look down.)

In those moments, there is so much value in having someone say, “No. I get it. I can see what you’re trying to do here. It might not come off, but I can see it. I get it.”

It’s one of the reasons I encourage students to engage with the community stuff as much as they can.

Of course, you can be successful pottering away on your own. You can be wildly successful.

But having someone who gets it, or a collective who gets it is just so powerful.

It is a balm to the visionary soul.


Have you tried to do things without someone who gets in it your life? How did that work out for you – was it harder?

How did that work out for you – was it harder?