February 14, 2013 by Dymphna

Beware The Dream Stealers

It’s that time of the year again, where we reflect on all the things we love.

I love my children. I love Brian, my husband. I love the seclusion of a 54-acre farm. I love the peacefulness of my lifestyle. I love a glass of wine. I love laughter and good friends.

All of this is possible because of my other love, the love of REAL ESTATE.

Happy valentines day!

…now let’s get straight back to work.

On a day like today, my lesson is about dream-stealers.

Unfortunately, sometimes the people that say they love us are in fact hurting us in a way they would never appreciate or realise. I want to talk to you about the importance of belief as it applies to the path toward financial independence that you’ve chosen.

The reason I want to talk about this is because one of my students recently asked me why I focus as much as I do (which is really not that much when compared to the total content) on the psychological part of things in my seminars and boot camps. Still, it’s a crucial component that shouldn’t be overlooked.

And even if the importance of belief is familiar territory, it’s territory that is well worth revisiting and reinforcing in your mind…

Change can be difficult

I told the gentleman that the answer to his question is quite simple–but nonetheless true and extremely relevant to the level of success one will have going forward. When it comes down to it, with rare exception the people who attend my seminars and boot comps, who then become my students and success stories, are coming to real estate investing from somewhere else. That is not a big secret; my students are normally not real estate professionals; they are from other professions and occupations like IT, accountancy, or many others. Most of my students have been living other lives and attend my boot camps and seminars in order to change their lives for the better.

Well, as anyone who has done it can tell you, changing one’s path in life can be exhilarating, frightening, sometimes embarrassing and difficult all at the same time. And remember, most of you–my students–are not financially independent when you begin my programs; many of you are in jobs you don’t like and some of you have no jobs–or money–at all when you start! I’ve been in those circumstances and so I know how not only financially difficult it can be, but how emotionally and psychologically difficult it can be as well. That is why belief is so important.

Belief gets you through the rough patch

By that I mean belief in yourself, in what your are doing, and believing that the steps you are taking today will get you down the path to where you want to go and help you realize your goals tomorrow. That belief in yourself and your decisions is a powerful force and is one that is necessary every step along the way because you’re liable to hit a rough patch or two and you don’t want to be doubting yourself in those times.

But that’s reality, isn’t it? Rough patches and problems are always going to be around the corner. I’ve said many times before that not every real estate deal is going to work out the way you thought or hoped it would, even if you have a carefully laid plan in place for every deal. Things change, deals come apart at the seams, and people can turn out to be quite the wild card.

When this happens, or even before it happens, there are likely to be certain people in your life that you might want to avoid…

Beware the dream stealers

I call those people “the dream stealers.” Who are they?

Those of you who know me or have listened to my webinars or CD’s will know what I’m talking about, but others may not. Dream stealers don’t always intend to be dream stealers; many times they don’t even know that they’re doing it. But the reality is that it’s often the people closest to us who put doubt into our minds and try, whether they mean to or not, to stop us on our way to our new lives.

They can be anybody but are usually people in our lives–family members, close friends, co-workers or even our spouses–who put doubts in our minds about whether we are really doing the right thing. It happens quite often whenever we seek to make radical changes in our life…

Especially when it involves money.

Why do they do this? There are several possible reasons…

For one thing, they don’t know what you’ve seen and heard and so fear that you’ll be wasting your time and money chasing something that doesn’t exist. Another might be that if you are changing your life for the better, it makes them uncomfortable in their own lives. As human beings, complacency or comfort with the familiar is always one the most difficult roadblocks to changing our lives. When they see a close friend or relative try to do it, there’s often a part of them that doesn’t want you to succeed. It’s not a judgment; but some people are just that way.

Another reason is personal history. A spouse or family member may have backed you in a previous venture that didn’t pan out the way you thought it would and perhaps cost the family some money and hardship. That situation is actually more common than you might think.

Self-belief brings you deals

But the answer to all of these scenarios is simple, too; you don’t give up! You stay on course. That’s why it is often so important that couples get involved in the seminars and boot camps together. By doing so, you create a team bond between yourselves, rather than one spouse doubting the other and looking for signs of failure every step of the way.

There is also another very important factor of belief in what you’re doing to consider, and that is the people sitting on the other side of the negotiating table. When you are trying to convince a potential JV partner that you have the skills, the knowledge and the perseverance to get a project completed from start to finish, your potential partner will be looking to see self-confidence in you as a person, not just whether you can say the right words.

Finally, do you recall an earlier post where I talked about having a vision and writing down the steps that you needed to take to realize your vision? The one thing that will take through each and every one of those steps toward realizing your vision is belief in yourself. Nothing will happen without that. Therefore, to maintain your belief in what you’re doing, avoid negative people and negative ideas and for goodness sake, don’t entertain silly doubts in your mind about what someone else might think!

After all, no one but you is responsible for your own success, and above all, success is a decision that you make. Don’t let anyone change your mind! Remember, this is your life and no one else’s.